Dirty Deeds
Making Whoopie…..Bopping…..Doing the Deed……Hitting a Homerun…..Slipping ‘em the high hard one……
There are hundreds of euphemisms for sex. The real question is, how Sexually Compatible do you need to be in a relationship?
In my opinion, to avoid issues in the bedroom, you should pair up with someone who wants the same things you do (sexually, that is).
What kind of “same things” should you be in synch on? Well, some of the important ones are….
Frequency
If one of you wants to Get Busy ten times a week and the other is fine with busy-getting once a month, most likely you’re going to have two seriously unhappy people.
Type
Perhaps you’re into only the “straightest” type of bedroom activities, like the reliable (and tremendously underrated) Missionary Position. And maybe your partner is a bit more adventurous and has a trunk full of, uh,…Toys and Garments made of leather. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a dejected S&M aficionado sulking around your house
Monogomy
Some people want to be with only one person. Other people want to be with only one person, too…unless an opportunity with a hot brunette presents itself. And sometimes they expect their partner to be okay with their Extracurricular Activities.
Be sure to level set this one early on. Before you walk in on your wife and the Jacuzzi Repairman “negotiating” a better rate for his services. Just a suggestion.
One of the most basic pieces you need to be in synch on is you should both want to Do It. With each other. Besides – if you don’t want to rip each other’s clothes off on a regular basis (whatever that means to you), then why are you together?
People need to feel Attractive and Wanted, and a healthy Sex life helps your partner feel that way (I capitalized attractive and wanted because they’re super important to remember).
If a person doesn’t feel either of those things because their sex life is out of synch, that means they have Unmet Needs. (yes, another biggee)
Unmet Needs are a bad, bad thing for a relationship. Mainly because some people will go elsewhere to get needs met.
And yes, I mean they might engage in “Unauthorized Extracurricular Activities” with someone who can help them feel Attractive and Wanted. Like that Jacuzzi dude.
What this means is one of two things
1. Save yourself heartache and drama and choose someone who wants the same things you do sexually
2. If your partner requests something in the bedroom, you can give them what they want and need
I don’t think it’s a good idea to go SO far outside your comfort zone that you resent them forever (which kills the relationship anyhow)…but to keep your relationship happy, maybe a little concession wouldn’t hurt.
Unless what they’re into is the Sado-Masochistic stuff mentioned earlier. Then it could hurt real bad. Good luck with that.
Footnote: By the way, how did The Missionary Position ever get that label? Are there lots of Missionaries running around having intercourse in only one position? And why only that position? So strange…
There are hundreds of euphemisms for sex. The real question is, how Sexually Compatible to you need to be in a relationship?
to -> do
Although you may have asked it rhetorically, I looked up your last question “how did the missionary style get it’s name” in Wikipedia.
Etymology
Prior to the release of Alfred Kinsey’s work, the missionary position was known by several names, including “the matrimonial”, “the Mama-Papa position”, “the English-American position”, and “the male superior position”.[23] In 1948, Kinsey published the male volume of the Kinsey Reports, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male. He described the American preference for the position and called it “the English-American position.” Discussing Malinowski’s The Sexual Life of Savages in North-Wester Melanesia, Kinsey wrote, “It will be recalled that Malinowski (1929) records the nearly universal use of a totally different position among the Trobrianders … [and] … that caricatures of the English-American position are performed around … campfires, to the great amusement of the natives who refer to the position as the ‘missionary position.’”[23] To date, lexicographers and sexologists have not found use of the term “missionary position” prior to Kinsey.[24]
In 2001, Robert Priest examined the origins of the term and concluded that Kinsey had confused several factors in accidentally coining the term.[23] First, according to Malinowski, Trobrianders played and sang mocking songs under the full moon, and not around a campfire. In Sexual Behaviors, Kinsey wrote that the Trobrianders mocked face-to-face man-on-top woman-below intercourse, but does not give context. He mentioned the position was learned from “white traders, planters, or officials”, but does not discuss missionaries. Kinsey also recalled that the medieval Catholic Church taught the position, and upon seeing the natives mocking it, assumed that missionaries had taught it to them. Finally, Malinowski wrote that he saw an engaged Trobriand couple holding hands and leaning against each other, which the natives described as misinari si bubunela — the “missionary fashion.” Upon accidentally combining these similar facts, Kinsey invented a new phrase despite believing that he was reporting an old one.[23]
From then on, the story of the name’s “origin” was retold until it became largely accepted, and its connection to Kinsey and Malinowski faded. Writers began using the expression for intercourse in the late 1960s, and as Alex Comfort’s bestseller The Joy of Sex (1972) and the Oxford English Dictionary (1976) spread the term “missionary position”, it gradually replaced older names.[25] By the 1990s, it had spread to other languages: Missionarsstellung (German), postura del misionero (Spanish), missionarishouding (Dutch) and position du missionaire (French).
That’s great Missionary Position History… Love it — the “English-American” Position