Mirror mirror on the wall….

In 2008, over Ten Million Cosmetic Procedures were performed in the United States. which equals an awful lot of Botulism and Saline being shoved in and tons of late night pizza runs being sucked out of humans.

As most of those people were Married or partnered with someone, it makes me wonder ….exactly how important are looks to a relationship?

In the early stages after meeting someone new, looks and attraction are pretty darn important.  When you consider you don’t really know much about them at this point, the superficial stuff gets pretty high billing.

You obviously need to be attracted enough to walk across a room / click on a Profile / watch them from across the street using Binoculars to try and create a relationship out of vapor.  So you each have to think you’re both Hot enough to want to talk to each other, go out on a first date, to kiss and eventually see each other naked.

After the first date, hopefully you want to have a bit more going on other than just looks. Unless you’re on Spring Break in Cancun.  Then I doubt your relationship will make it past tomorrow’s Wet T shirt Contest. But I could be wrong, and it might make it all the way through to tomorrow’s Wet Boxer Shorts Contest, too.

Anyhow, let’s assume things work out and you’ve been dating a while.  Heck, maybe you’re even Married, Living Together or have a child with each other. Once you get past a certain point in your relationship – after you’re fully emotionally invested – what level of importance do looks still hold?

It would be a lovely Fairy Tale-ish thought to say that as soon as you’re in love, looks no longer matter whatsoever because you’re only able to see their beautiful souls. Some of this certainly IS accurate as we’re all more apt to see the rose-colored glasses version of significant others we’re happy with.

Unfortunately, truth of the matter is appearance does still have a certain amount of power in romantic relationships.  But hopefully they’ve evolved since our Cancun-like excursions.

What I mean is, most women and men who legitimately care about the person they’re with want their partner to take care of themselves, stay attractive and look their best.  They want them to be good-looking enough to present themselves well in social situations and attractive enough to turn them on.  That’s pretty much it, really.

What I don’t hear are a lot of well-balanced adults wanting and demanding the loves of their lives look “perfect”. While women and men may look a bit longer than necessary at the shirtless guy in the Bowflex ad or the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model because we can all appreciate good-looking people, truth of the matter is physical perfection isn’t what makes a real relationship successful.

If being physical flawless were the most important quality determining relationship success, 100% of the population would be alone forever. Until we found a way to bring Airbrushing into everyday life, and then some of us might have a shot…..so long as we don’t step into any bad lighting.

Most people old enough to legally drive a car want someone attractive, stable, good in bed and fun to be around.   People don’t seem to be saying, “I wish my Husband would spend three hours at the gym and never see the kids anymore!”, or “I wish I had a girlfriend whose starved herself so much she’s a giant Bitch and is miserable to spend time with!”.

A friend summed it up for me once when I asked if men were looking for all women to look like Swimsuit Models or high-end Strippers…..he said “Boys are looking for that…..that’s not when Men want“.

With that in mind, you need to have faith and should assume most men and women want someone who’s great to be with, not someone Perfect.  And presume your significant other subscribes to the advice John Cusack received in Say Anything, “The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don’t be a guy.”

(obviously insert “girl” and “woman” in there where needed…we’re certainly not Guy-bashing here).

And if you’re reading this from a beach in Cancun while MTV is pouring tequila down your throat while on camera, I won’t be hurt if you disagree.  Just don’t do too much while on camera – it can come back to haunt you.