Jerks and Psychos

“My ex wife was completely nuts, and so was the last woman I dated!”

“All my boyfriends have been total Jerks…all of them!”

You may want to be cautious of people who classify almost everyone they’ve dated as ‘Jerks’ or ‘Psychos’.

(Just to clarify…men’s Exs typically get the ‘Nuts’ or ‘Psycho’ Label, and a woman’s Ex gets ‘Jerk’, ‘A-hole’, or possibly a more direct word for male genitalia)

Sometimes people actually have been romantically involved with someone who has legitimate mental issues. Or they married men who really were selfish jerks.

However, many times it seems the person trashing their Ex isn’t remembering what really happened (or they’re just not admitting it). Often, it’s a case of them having treated the their past love poorly, and then wondering why they got such a horribly negative reaction.

While I completely agree each of us are ultimately responsible for our own behavior, sometimes there are situations which encourage men and women to act – only Temporarily – like Jerks or Nutjobs.

What do I mean?

  • He tells you his ex was “So nuts she hit him one time”…..The real story is she slapped him because he was cheating.  With two of her Relatives.
  • She says her “A-hole ex boyfriend dumped her on Christmas Eve”….He ended things because she threw a lamp.  During Dinner. At his Mom’s house.

Unfortunately, it’s not very a good sign if people don’t have an accurate picture of their past relationships. It usually means they’re taking the lazy way out by blaming their Exs instead of seeing what role they played in a past relationship’s problems, nevermind how they may have actually encouraged dysfunctional behavior.

And when someone doesn’t see their part in creating a problem, well……Let’s just say you’d have a better chance of getting Al Gore to buy an SUV than you do of this person changing.

So if someone tells you too many relationship tales of woe without taking any ownership whatsoever, my opinion is to walk away.

Otherwise, you may end up being the ‘Complete Whack-job’ or ‘Selfish Jerk’ they’re complaining about in their next relationship.

Comments

6 Responses to “Jerks and Psychos”
  1. Kelly says:

    OH MY GOD. My friend Mere and I were talking about this JUST the other day. Long story short-ish, her ex-bf (who, by the way, is 32 and ended up cheating on her with a NINETEEN-YEAR-OLD GIRL) talked all sorts of smack about his ex-wife, whom we now, of course, suspect may have gotten quite the bum rap. Our new rule? If they go on and on and ON about how horrible their exes are, then perhaps the gentlemen doth transfer his guilt too much, know what I mean?

  2. Vince says:

    I don’t know what you’re talking about – all my ex-girlfriends actually were crazy.

  3. AnnQ says:

    Kelly – I agree…I’ll bet his ex wife wasn’t nearly as bad as he made her sound! Your friend is lucky to be rid of him…now she can go out and find a decent guy!

  4. AnnQ says:

    Vince — LOL….I’m sure you’re the exception to the rule. ;-)

  5. Sophia says:

    I actually think that it’s already a big NO-NO to talk about ex’s with your current bf or gf! What a turn-off!

  6. AnnQ says:

    Agreed!!! People don’t need to know too much info about Ex’s.

    They always THINK they want to know…until they hear details. Then it goes south, fast. I actually wrote something on that very topic because I’ve HATED when boyfriends have shared too much detail!

    http://www.averagebutnot.com/2009/06/21/history-101/

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