What not to do on a First Date, Part 1

After reading a really bad date story on Kelly’s site, I was inspired to re-post some things to avoid doing on First Dates to help ensure you actually get a Second Date.

Love

So many men and women are trying to find someone they desperately love – and who loves them back – but some people’s love lives seem stopped in their tracks before they even have a chance to turn into something real.

When they meet someone available they find attractive and nice (and let’s be honest – that can be harder than finding Plutonium), they go on the ever important First Date.  But like many people wonder, Why doesn’t a seemingly great First Date turn into the (even more important) Second Date?

It seemed like that smart, pretty girl had a good time, so why hasn’t she answered her phone the last six days?  Or returned your calls?  How come the cute guy said he’d call, but never did?  Maybe he lost your number…?

Let’s talk about what things might have pushed that person away.  And yes, I’m saying there’s the possibility you may have made a mistake.  Just a small possibility.  (please don’t hate me yet)

I’ve certainly been on my share of bad first dates, and I really believe the people making the mistakes never had the slightest clue they were messing-up.

Here are some things you may want to avoid doing on your First date (or your second, third or fourth dates, for that matter).

• Getting wasted – Unless you’re 18 and in South Padre Island for Spring Break, nobody wants to watch their date black-out….not cool.  And if you do get drunk, please don’t even bother to call and ask them what happened.  Just know you most likely made a jerk out of yourself – Case Closed.

• Being late – Okay, lateness of 10 – 15 minutes is perfectly acceptable, especially if you’re unsure where the restaurant is or got caught up at work.  Just let them know you’re running late….it’s not 1984 – everyone has a cell phone, and texting someone to tell them you’re going to be late is one reason why.
  • And Nope, you don’t get points for showing up 45 minutes after you were supposed to be there. Well, unless you mean Points proving you’re a Jerk. Then you got ‘em.

• Telling him/her how hot they are – Oh my Lord.  Are you in the blacking-out stage?  Aside from telling them they look nice or you like a shirt / shoes / skirt they have on, please refrain from acting as though you’re watching a Girls / Guys Gone Wild video until you’re home alone.  Please.

• Talking about your Insecurities – A friend once went out with a successful, attractive man.  As he was walking back from the Men’s room, he saw she was looking at him, which was when he said “You’re looking at me – I know, I’m so small aren’t I?”.
  • Ummmm, No, that was not what she was thinking.  Get a grip..
  • This let her know he had some issues which she didn’t want to deal with.  Who would after one date?

• Not even offering to pay – Okay, let’s assume for a minute this is a situation where a guy has asked a girl out.  When the check comes, she should at least offer to pay. I don’t care if every fiber of your being is screaming “He’d better not let me pay!”.
  • You have to do female-patented Fake Wallet Reach. C’mon, you know you’ve faked it before…just do it again so you look like a Team Player.

• Not paying for a woman – Let’s be honest here….Men need to be in Courting Mode during the early stages of a relationship.  If a man doesn’t pay for the First Date, there’s almost no chance he sees this woman as a Potential Girlfriend / Wife.
  • Men will do whatever it takes to impress a girl they like, and making her pay for her half the pizza doesn’t accomplish that.  And they know it.
  • So if you ask a woman out on a date – unless she’s truly a horrible human being who smacked a little kid at the table next to you – just pony-up and pay the tab.  Chivalry really is not dead, and you don’t want to be known as the guy helping to kill it.

Part Two of What not to do on a First Date is coming soon…just remember to be nice and polite to your date – politeness means a lot, and it tells people a lot about your character.