Top three Lies Cheating men tell

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Okay, I’ll admit it — when I’m working from home, sometimes I’ll put Dr. Phil on in the background.  Yes, Dr. Phil.  There, I said it.  And isn’t admitting you have a problem the first step towards recovery?

Anyhow, now that we’re beyond my issues, several days ago the topic was on married men who cheat and the “other women”.

Since some of the women either didn’t know these guys were married, or once they did know they were lied to by the men, part of his show focused on the lies told by cheating men.

So here are the top three lies dudes who live in an Ethical-Free Zone tell women:

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1. I’m not Married in the “real” sense of the word – If you ask them what they mean, what these guys say is although they’re still living under the same roof and haven’t Filed for Divorce, they’re:

- Separated

- Sleeping in separate rooms

- No longer having sex with their Wives

So, does this mean they’re Married in the fake sense of the word?  When a friend used to get the line from guys that their Marriage “is basically over”, she’d say “Really?  So if I called her right now she’d say the same thing?  Let’s get her on the phone…”.

Huh.  I don’t think she ever ended up having one conversation with anyone’s “soon to be ex wife”.  Funny how it worked out that way.

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2. I’ll leave my family after the Holidays / The kids’ Birthdays / My job is more secure – Okay, I’ve been Divorced and all I can tell you is when someone is ready to leave their marriage, they don’t wait around for the “Perfect Time”.

Why?  Because there is no perfect time to throw your entire life into a tailspin. But when you want to make it happen, you just do it (sorry to sound all Nike-ish).

If someone tells you to they want you to still go to dinner and sleep with them, and they’ll “leave their Spouse soon”, all I can say is Holy load of Crap, Batman.

“Soon” will most likely never come, and you’ll have wasted your extremely valuable time.

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3. My Wife doesn’t understand me / We got Married for the wrong reasons / She doesn’t ‘get’ me like you do – The “my wife doesn’t understand me” line still works?  Really? Wow.  It’s a bit of a cliche, but apparently it’s an oldie and a goody….

Anyhow, what I’m trying to say is this is most likely just another line of horse dung.

I mean, seriously….50% of people leave marriages because they’re unhappy.  If this guy feels as though his life partner really isn’t “getting” him, then why isn’t he:

1) Home trying to fix things, or

2) Getting a Divorce?

One night, someone tried telling me “My wife just can’t understand me”, so I said “Wow…you should hire a Translator” (I never want to look back on my life and regret a missed opportunity for well-deserved sarcasm).

I don’t think he thought it was as funny as I did.

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Now I do have to say, there’s a very small percentage of times where these stories are actually true….but remember, this seems to be a tiny percentage of people.

Getting Divorced is a little like going on a Diet.  Lots of people talk about wanting to lose weight (get Divorced), but unless you actually change your eating habits (File for Divorce), you’re not really committed to the result you say you want.

So basically, if you’re a woman and hear any of the top three lies above: Buyer Beware.  If something just doesn’t seem to make sense, it usually doesn’t for a good reason.

If you’re a guy, well…you might want to start thinking up some better lies, and quick.

 

Comments

19 Responses to “Top three Lies Cheating men tell”
  1. JackieK says:

    LOL….I love that you told him to get a translator. Maybe his wife didn’t speak Idiot? ;-)

  2. Jill says:

    So true. If someone really wants to get divorced, they file for divorce. They don’t screw around for years and talk about how unhappy they are. Anyone who does that (and I definitely know women who do it) are full of it.

  3. AnnQ says:

    Jackie – I think he may have also been speaking in the lesser-known Tool Dialect. ;-)

  4. AnnQ says:

    Jill – It never ceases to amaze me how many people cry misery, and then when you see them five years later they’re still married.

    Either fix things or get out…but stop just complaining and messing around.

  5. Cristy says:

    I think it comes down to men not wanting to be alone. Their preference is to drag the marriage (relationship) out and find somebody new while they’re still married (in a relationship) and basically be ready to get married (start a new relationship) the second the divorce (break-up) is final. It’s insecurity and loneliness, along with lots of laziness and inconsideration.

  6. I am always shocked that women buy into that crap. It just oozes such sad desperation. Even if it is the 1% of the time that it’s true (ie: he really is going to leave his family), do you a) really think he won’t also leave you high and dry at some point and b) if he’s not lying, why not tell him to give you a call when he’s free, clear, and single and has his shi** in order? If he really is that into you and not just looking to screw around, he will find you and make a move when he’s ended his marriage. I have ZERO tolerance for this stuff – for the cheater and the idiot mistress. Remember, once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater (even if he ever does take the leap to be w/ the mistress).

  7. AnnQ says:

    Cristy -I think you’re right on…a lot of people don’t want to be alone, and want to grab onto another branch before letting go of the first one.

    While I understand feeling that way, I guess that’s why I really respect the people I know who have gotten Divorced without having someone else there. It’s SUCH a scary thing to do, and it also tells me they’re (hopefully) doing it for the right reasons, and not because they think someone else will “save” them.

  8. AnnQ says:

    Cameron – I think it always makes MUCH more sense for people to end their marriages and then go looking for someone (or start dating the person they wanted earlier on). Divorce is so much more stressful than most people think it will be — why drag someone else into it, too?

    Of course, real relationships are messy and anything but done perfectly, so I also understand how people do things a bit ass-backwards, but I also think everyone feels better in the long run from a Trust standpoint if the Marriage is ended first.

  9. This is exactly why I instituted the rule, “Thou shalt let the ink dry on thy divorce papers before thou shalt even THINK about asking the Bachelor Girl for a date.” I’ve accepted dates with guys who claimed to be “separated,” only to find out on the first date that MY definition of separated (living in separate households) was quite different from theirs (still married in every sense of the word).

  10. AnnQ says:

    Kelly – It never ceases to amaze me how people say they’re Separated, but it only seems to exist in their heads and when convenient…

  11. sophia says:

    Even if this guy intends to get a divorce, my opinion is that he shouldn’t be tom-foolering around with other women until the divorce is final and legal. It just says what kind of morals he holds!

  12. AnnQ says:

    Sophia – I agree….it shows a lack of self-control and ethics.

  13. Elisa says:

    I don’t care it it’s occasionally true, those are all really pathetic lines, all of them. If you are even minimally involved you shoulnd’t be seeing someone else, period.

  14. AnnQ says:

    Elisa – I completely agree…..it just shows a lack of ethics and respect for the person they’re with.

  15. TravisW says:

    Okay, not to be the voice of discord here… but I hope you plan on following this up with the line cheating WOMEN tell you. Especially in this day and age I don’t think this behavior is limited to penis owners. Ashley Madison isn’t just for men.

  16. AnnQ says:

    Travis -Yes, since about 50% of both men AND women cheat, I’m definitely doing something on women cheating, too….no male bashing here.

  17. LiLu says:

    My wife doesn’t understand me?

    Um… then WHY DID YOU MARRY HER?!

  18. AnnQ says:

    LiLu – So true! Unfortunately, not only is that excuse more often than not BS, so many times people get married for the wrong reasons they don’t even like the person they’re married to….sad.

  19. Don'tBuyIntoIt says:

    I just want to comment that men and bullcrap science has to stop lying about their excuses. The biggest one is that “men must spread their seed.” Bully pucky i say! Science was wrong about eggs, margarine and salt, and animals also eat their crap, placentas and young. Let’s not repeat men’s propaganda towards women anymore that they can’t be monogamous anymore. It’s time for an end. It’s crap and the more it’s repeated the more it becomes true. A lie repeated often enough is truth.

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