Friends Toxic to your relationship
Some people wonder if it’s acceptable to have friends of the opposite sex when you’re in a relationship. Frankly, between work and life in general, I think it’s inevitable we’re going to have friends of both sexes, which isn’t necessarily the problem.
From my experience, instead of throwing a “Bad” Label on all friends with different anatomical parts from ourselves, there are other people you should be more concerned with either you or your partner having if you’re looking to keep your relationship happy and successful.
Who are these people you may want to avoid? Well, I’m thinking you might stop spending time with the following types:
1. The Ex who wants you back - It’s one thing if you’re friends with an Ex who’s genuinely in a happy relationship and isn’t looking for anything more than friendship (yes, it can happen). However, if she or he is looking to reconcile, this can only lead somewhere bad. Besides – would you want the person you’re with spending time with an ex who’s hot for them? Didn’t think so….
2. The Undermining Friend – This person can come in many forms, but basically they’re someone who isn’t looking out for your best interest. If you confide things in them about concerns in your relationship, they’ll always put the worst possible spin on it. If you’re having an issue with your partner, they’ll encourage you to cheat or end the relationship without working on things.
Sometimes you can talk with these friends and they’ll stop wearing the Captain Negativity Hat. However, if you’ve asked them repeatedly to stop and they still act out, then they’re not only trying to end your relationship, they don’t respect you.
3. The friend with a Crush – When you’re Single, it can be a big ego boost to have a friend around who you know perfectly well has a Big Thing for you. However, your significant other is going to want to know why you still need this person around (and perhaps you should wonder the same thing).
Also, when you get in a serious relationship the person Crushing on you often doesn’t take it so well, wondering why you’re not dating or marrying them…..which is when they can morph into “The Undermining Friend” or even the next person…..
4. The person who’s unkind to your significant other – Although you shouldn’t make the person you’re with the center of the universe, people who are supposed to be your friends need to respect your relationship and the person you’re with. If they don’t, it’s your responsibility to do something about it, whether it’s calling your friend out on their behavior (the best first step) or just ending the friendship if their behavior doesn’t improve.
A good friend got Married two years ago to a wonderful guy, but two of her friends were repeatedly rude to him while they were dating. Out of respect for her (awesome) Husband, she dumped these Frenemies.
Hopefully you don’t have any of these people in your life, although if you do, for the sake of your relationship I strongly recommend taking immediate action.
Of course, if you’re looking for your marriage or dating situation to be filled with strife, jealousy and to end badly, then by all means stay friends with these people….they’ll absolutely help usher in your relationship’s demise.