Cougar Convention…possibly missing the point?
Yesterday, I watched the five minute long video of a Cougar Convention in Beverly Hills, including the woman who was named “Miss California Cougar, Beverly Hills”.
Personally, I find the whole “Cougar Culture” a bit odd….
I should probably first mention my boyfriend is 13 years younger than me, although neither of us had any idea how old / young we each were when we met.
But I digress….Let me explain a bit about why I find it a little peculiar.
I don’t see anything wrong with men or women dating someone older or younger than themselves. The question I have is this — why seek out someone specifically younger or older? Perhaps I’m too small-minded, but I see that as being extremely limiting.
Love is difficult enough to find…why add another level of requirements into the equation or discount a whole group of men (or women), just because they’re in your age group?
Besides – isn’t the benefit of women “being able to” date younger men the fact it dramatically widens the pool of eligible dating partners? And doesn’t searching for only younger men now limit the number of partners again?
Keep in mind, I’d say the exact same thing if this were footage of a convention filled with men who only wanted to date young women….I don’t understand that, either.
This whole “Cougar Movement” is supposed to be empowering to women, and I believe parts of it are empowering (why should women be relegated to dating only men older than ourselves why guys can date in any age group).
But I found this video (for the most part) to be the opposite of empowerment, and I was somewhat embarrassed for the men and women shown. The people at this convention — the ones they showed on camera, at least — just seemed sort of misguided, albeit well-intended, in their efforts. Of course, that’s just my opinion.
Footnote: And isn’t it about time we drop the whole “Cougar” Title? How ridiculous. Men who date only much younger women don’t have a cutesy little name to go along with their dating habits. Well, unless you consider Cradle-robber cute. Then I guess they do.
Wow….some part of that video are a little wacky. I don’t think it’s a good representation of the “average” man and woman dating in that sort of relationship, although things like this perpetuate a negative stereotype some people may have.
I see no reason for people to limit themselves in love in any way, whether it’s race, age or religion.
Jill – I don’t think it’s an accurate depiction of the typical older woman / younger man relationship.
In some ways, some of the men and women seem sort of stereotypical and somewhat of caricatures, hopefully that’s not too mean. I guess it just seems somewhat inauthentic. Of course, I guess a Convention for Cougars might attract a more flamboyant type of person.
I agree with your point of view. I don’t think this group of men and women are the best representation of the older women / younger men relationship.
As far as it being limiting, if people are ONLY looking for someone whose older or younger, then they’re definitely limiting their choices.
Christopher – Agreed. I think people should be open to falling in love with anyone they find compatible.
We’ll never be able to make the label “Cougar” go away. It’s forever popular. The age spread can be anything, however I know of two couples whose age spread was 20 years, and 10 years or so after marriage, they both dissolved. At that point they were in diferent life zones and couldn’t stand each other, both couples.
Thanks for visiting Secret Story Time, hope you will come often!
Secretia
Secretia – Agreed….one of the most important things is for two people to be in the same place in their lives, no matter what their ages. They have to both want to get married or to stay single, have kids or not, or just wait for kids.
Thanks for visiting! And I’ve definitely been to your blog before (found in through Conquer the Monkey), but haven’t commented until today.
I’m with you – I think the “cougar craze” is getting a bit old. Why is it suddenly so shocking (or hip, or whatever) to date someone several years older or younger? People have been doing that forever!
sometimes the men who date younger gals are called Sugar Daddies.
you are right, the truth is, people who are compatible should be together. I think the cougar thing is silly, it only really applies to the women who are “preying” ONLY on young guys for the sole reason that they ARE YOUNG. your situation is normal, not cougar. people just need to chill on this stuff!!!
I blame demi & ashton for making this such an uproar
This might be my experience alone, but usually when I see a wide gap in ages it’s about two people who just so happen to find themselves in need of whatever the other person can provide from them (now). It’s not unlike any other relationship really. I think that perhaps some people are old souls while other people are young mentally and need someone not so “old at heart”. A “cougar” to me is usually a woman who is not that into the traditional role of a woman and is more aggressive physically. She doesn’t want a kid, marriage or someone to settle down with. She’s basically a 20 year old man in a 40 year old woman’s body. Which might be just what a young man needs.
Men who date younger ladies could still have the stereotypical storybook life. It’s been that way forever. I am not saying a “cougar” couldn’t either it’s just doesn’t fit the title. And I think we should stop calling ladies cougars as soon as the title Dirty Old Man / Sugar Daddy is retired… and it’s not.
I say if you want to go to a convention to meet a Cougar or Sugar Daddy help yourself. I feel like all those in attendance will get EXACTLY what they deserve.
My lady is nine years younger than I am and I am sure it’s because I am silly and she’s way too serious.
It’s funny…..I think most people question the “motive” behind relationships where one party is more than five years older than the other, often believing the older man or woman can’t ‘handle’ someone their own age and needs to be with someone they can control, and often that’s just not the case.
I think everyone needs to chill….if two people are on the same wave length and are both in the same place in life (and treat the other well) I think that’s what really matters…
Dating older women is getting a bit popular in Korea…I just discovered my brother is dating my friend who is 3 years older than him. I have to admit, I’m not very happy about it…well, mostly because I know my relationship with my friend will never be the same.
But I think that guys are usually just more immature than women, and I’ve heard several cases when the younger guy will usually cheat. I know that’s not the whole case, though.