Does TV distort our expectations about Life?
I’ll admit it….the other day I was watching ‘The Real Housewives of Orange County’, and was struck by something. Watching this show, I saw a 33 year old woman with a new Bentley, an 18 carat ring, and two full time Nannies to take care of her three children.
After I was done watching the show, I felt as though my life wasn’t anywhere near where it should be, and that I hadn’t accomplished anything close to what I should have accomplished.
(of course, it didn’t matter she hadn’t really accomplished anything financial on her own either, unless you consider marrying someone else who made their own money an accomplishment).
But here’s my real point — Does TV skew expectations for our own lives?
If I’m being completely embarrassingly honest, despite the fact my income is in the top 8% in the U.S. (assuming the Wall Street Journal is correct), and that together, my and my boyfriend’s Household Income Bracket is in the top 4%, I was left temporarily devastated after watching that show.
Why?
Well, not just because I’m an idiot, as you very well may be thinking.
Because I’m nowhere near that level of income.
The only way I could even think about a new Bentley, a ring expensive enough to sustain the economy of Texas and the ability to pay two illegal aliens to watch my fictitious children is if, well….I frankly can’t even think of a way I’d be able to do all that without a stocking mask, firearm and great escape route from my local Bank.
(If the Authorities are reading this, I can promise you I’m kidding. I’d never wear a stocking mask…do you know what that would do to my hair and mascara?)
But seriously….currently, American houses are approximately 50% larger in 2009 than they were in the 1950′s, Personal Debt is at an all time high, and until the economy crashing down ruined things for Loius Vuitton, there was quite the little Spending Party going on.
Some studies have shown part of the reason Americans have accumulated so much crap and purchased houses with tons of rooms we don’t need is due to what we see on television and in magazines.
When you think about it, it’s a constant bombardment of superficiality.
We watch Lindsay Lohan traipse around Rodeo Drive wearing expensive and trendy outfits, get a blow-by-blow of Blink-182′s houses on ‘Cribs’, and hear how expensive Donald Trump’s latest Wedding cost.
And then we want it. We want it all.
And sometimes, when we can’t get it - instead of focusing on the fact this is the top 0.02% of people in the country, so pretty much nobody can have all of those things – we wonder why we can’t have it….and we feel bad about our lives.
Or perhaps we go out any buy things we can’t afford (and then we feel guilty and bad about our lives).
So yes…for now I’m making myself remember out of the 304 Million U.S. Residents, only 0.02% of them can get all of that stuff at the same time (no, I didn’t figure out how many people that would be. I’m no good at math, so please don’t make me do it.)
I’ve also sworn off the”Real Housewives” Reality TV Shows, because they often just leave me feeling like I’m practically living out of a cardboard box.
Of course, I won’t stop watching Rock of Love. Frankly, that one leaves me feeling like Princess Grace, and, well, I figure you should hold onto anything that makes you feel that good.
OMG, I know what you mean. Except not only do I feel poor when I watch those shows (although if I had your income I might now feel SO bad!), I also feel FAT! Great!
You do make a good point. The more we’re exposed to that environment, the more we think it’s “normal”.
You can’t watch too much of that shit. It’s like men who watch a lot of Porn. Their idea of what sex and women are supposed to be like gets skewed and messes up their relationships.
Susan – Unfortunately, I’m sure you’re not the only person who feels fat after watching these shows.
Christopher – Great comment! I hadn’t though of it in those terms until now…
60,000… Remember that happiness is relative to your peer group; so if you spend an hour a day watching that crap, you’re claiming the wrong peers. It’s why I used to spend so much time watching reruns of Sanford and Son.
First off Chris watch your mouth about Porn. I’ve learned some valuable lessons from Lexington Steele. I am not sure I’ll be able to use the lessons but lessons nonetheless.
I think watching TV and thinking that somehow that’s how everyone lives is dangerous. I can see your point though. When I watch “Real Housewives” sometimes I wonder where are the husbands and why don’t they show them working their ass off for all these frivolous things their wives are enjoying. At the center of it all they seem to be just as miserable as us poor people. I can be miserable in my Explorer just like I can be miserable in a Phantom.
TV does skew your perspective. In some ways it’s bad for you (because the imagery is confusing) and some ways it’s better. Especially when you see shows like Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, Big Bang theory and you see prominent roles for people who aren’t so Lilly white. It’s nice to see minorities (and by this I mean ladies as well as other ethnic backgrounds) get mass exposure. You can say what you want about TV but in the 80s I learned that it’s possible to be Black in America and be a doctor married to a Lawyer and not have to worry about paying bills. Thanks Bill.
And any child of mine now can look at TV and see a Black President, female Sec of State and a female Speaker of the House. That’s badass.
Vince – Very funny about Sanford and Son!
Excellent point about peer group.
Travis – I think TV can be an incredibly powerful medium, and can certainly affect how we not only see ourselves, but also the world around us.
I learned something from going to my boyfriend’s daughters functions in the rich part of town. Many of those people have less money in the bank than I do — if ANY — and they drive nicer cars and live in nicer houses. Yet I have enough in the bank to pay cash for my next car, which I’ll buy used. Someday I’ll have all of those things…and I’ll pay cash for them, you know why? Because I’m one of the few people in this country for whom 25 percent of my take-home pay is not going toward paying interest on things I bought four years ago. That’s how I look at it anyway.
I linked to you in today’s blog, by the way!
There’s a term for that Stephanie… we black people call it HOOD RICH. And you can be HOOD RICH in Beverly Hills or La Jolla California.
Ann, this is absolutely my favorite thing you’ve ever written. I laughed OUT LOUD when I got to the part about the bank robbery.
just remember that in orange county, hollywood etc, ie: my stomping grounds of old and soon to be again – it’s all about “show” and lots of times those people are the same ones with no savings in the bank. ie: living beyond their means.
Also, I actually in recent years having met so many of these “for show but no substance” people realized I kinda feel sorry for them. I mean, it would be liberating to be that wealthy, but when you start losing touch with reality and live that pampered to where you have no idea what the hell goes on in the world, it’s kinda a pathetic existence. What would they say on her gravestone “bitch married money, had mass bling and drove a bentley?” who would care?
just sayin……I’d take YOUR life over hers anyday mama!!!!!! for realz!
Bachelor Girl – Thanks! The compliment means a lot coming from you!
Conquer The Monkey – OMG. I swear I literally did “LOL” with this comment “bitch married money, had mass bling and drove a bentley?”
So true, and SO Fing funny. Thanks for the laugh!
And you’re right. I’d MUCH rather accomplish something on my own than be the one on the sidelines. Most women I know who stay at home DID have successful careers at one point, so they know what “real life” is like….not knowing that is truly detrimental to having a good grip on reality.
Stephanie – “Because I’m one of the few people in this country for whom 25 percent of my take-home pay is not going toward paying interest on things I bought four years ago.”
You’re one of the smart ones — It’s too bad more people don’t think that way….our economy might not be so horrendous if everyone acted that way.
Thanks for the Link to me, too!
Ha! Definitely. I think the only reason we watch TV is because we can drool at the stuff we can never really have.
We live in an area where there is a large lake surrounded by multi-million dollar homes; a significant portion of them are now vacant. Half the people who purchased them were living well beyond their means. I’ll take my more modest house any day – vs. the stress these folks have just trying to stay afloat and maintain their image