Do Double Standards still Exist?

male female sex

Him: “There was a women on Howard Stern who was filming a Gang Bang with 1,000 guys. One thousand! That’s disgusting! What a gross whore.”

Her: “Sure, that’s gross. But let me get this straight – there’s one disgusting woman. There’s One Thousand disgusting guys.”

Him: Silence…..

Him: “Oh, man. I never thought of it like that before.

That was a conversation two coworkers had a while back when Howard Stern was still on free radio.

It’s 2010, and times certainly are changing – an African American man is the most powerful person on earth and the Speaker of the House and U.S. Secretary of State are both women…..but do double standards still exist?  Do some people still think of men having sex as them ‘getting lucky’ and women as ‘giving it up’?

From what I can see, there does still seem to be a small double standard still floating around. Nothing like things were when my Baby Boomer parents were growing up, when women had to at least pretend to be a virgin until they were married, but there do seem to be slightly different sexual ‘rules’ for men and women.

The Boomers non withstanding, levels of double standards also seem to differ from generation to generation. As a member of Gen X, the expectations we had of women and men’s behavior certainly seemed different from Gen Y, and the rampant Sexting going on in schools.

But even then, girls seem to be slightly more maligned when engaging in promiscuous or sexual behavior than boys.

Additionally, as time goes by and what we’re exposed to in the Media changes, our guidelines for men and women also seem to change. In most open-minded people, like most other topics, our opinions are fluid and can morph over time. I know my opinions on male and female sexual behavior is very different today than what it was 15 years ago.

Nowadays, I find double standards to be demeaning and, frankly, ridiculous.

I’m a big believer both women and men can be sluts – I’ve come across plenty of men I wouldn’t sleep with even if they had a Kevlar Condom.

And I have no qualms in referring to men as whores (and I don’t that in the cutesy “wow-isn’t-he-a-stud” way some people do).

However, no matter what progress has been made in Society – women make up more than 50% of the active workforce and full time students in College, and more than 25% of U.S. women are the Primary Breadwinners at home – it does seem as though people are still slightly more willing to slap the Scarlet Letter on women than men.

Based on how drastically different people’s views of male and female sexual behavior is today in comparison to opinions fifty years ago, I can only assume at some point we’ll get to a place where men and women are seen as equals in every way, even from a sexual standpoint.

Or at least keep moving in the right direction.

(And no, I don’t consider ‘the right direction’ changing our thinking so that sleeping with 1,000 women or men is okay. Or sanitary. Gross. Where the hell are those Kevlar Condoms when people need ‘em…)

Comments

12 Responses to “Do Double Standards still Exist?”
  1. susans says:

    Ewwwww…. 1,000 people?

    Okay, I know that’s not the point of the article. Double Standards suck ass for sure. And guys can definitely be whores!

  2. Oh, you’re right, the double standard still exists. It gets better all the time, I think, but it still exists.

    I read something on Feministing.com today about how WOMEN are actually more likely to engage in victim-blaming (e.g., blaming rape victims) than men. Ladies, this is no good!

    The author of the article had a good point, though:

    “Fear of sexual assault has forced women in many instances to internalize negative assumptions about their own sexuality. It is hard to suggest that woman are uniquely more sexist than men but perhaps they have internalized the belief that to protect themselves from rape they have to act and dress a certain way to avoid the potential threat.”–Samhita, Feministing.com

    Food for thought, definitely.

  3. AnnQ says:

    Susan – I’d have to agree….they suck, even if they’re only small.

  4. AnnQ says:

    Bachelor Girl – I’ve never quite understood why some women can be the worst enemies of other women….it just doesn’t make sense to me.

  5. I totally think they exist. I’m going to double standard myself a 1-900 line….

  6. sophia says:

    I just read the commenter above about women being the more vicious accuser….gosh, that is so true. I wonder why, too. Why? Why are women such bitches? We’re kinda like cats marking our territories…maybe that’s why men get away because they are more relaxed about stuff like this?

  7. Secretia says:

    Certainly there are two standards, one for each one of us that says it’s ok to have sex with anyone we want because we are so smart and selective. The other standard is for everyone else, and it says they must be monogamous if in a relationship.
    In other words Me vs. Them.

    Secretia

  8. AnnQ says:

    Secretia – It never ceases to amaze me how people think what they do is okay because “it’s different”, but if someone else does the same thing it’s “wrong”.

    Oh, and I’m quite sure I’ve been guilty of that myself.

  9. Maybe I’m old-fashioned but when I was single and I heard a man had been with a huge number of women, I felt that same EWWWW that you’re describing here. I felt like he was used…like fingerprints on a vase. I didn’t want a guy who had no sexual morals…I wanted someone with integrity.

  10. AnnQ says:

    Stephanie – I feel the same way. Who wants a ride on the village bicycle? GROSS

  11. Ann, you are totally right the double standard is STILL there, it is absolutely ridiculous, and I’m with you, a male whore or female whore – neither is impressive!!!!

  12. Mandy says:

    I become frustrated not just with the double standard itself but when I witness first hand the hypocrisy of someone (like a relative, for example) claiming to be against that double standard notion while exhibiting those harbored feelings in reality. My relative is always saying how wonderful it is to see women as doctors, lawyers, business owners etc. But when his own wife doesn’t have dinner cooked or doesn’t agree with what he has outlined for their vacation, it becomes a huge fight. My thoughts are this….. man (or woman) up to your true feelings. If you’re against equality, then be against it. But if you’re for it, then BE for it in every sense of the way. Just be true to your standards whatever they may be.

    As for me, I see how strong men and women are every day. Women and men can do whatever they put their minds to with determination, hard work and effort. But that being said, only we women can carry a baby. So really we are the dominant species. We are just smart enough to let men think they have one up on us. :-P Hahahaha!

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