Is Sex Addiction the new excuse for Cheating?
With everyone from David Duchovny to Jesse James to Tiger Woods getting snagged for sleeping with multiple partners and then running off to Sexual Addiction Rehab, the term ‘Sex Addict’ has gotten a lot of press lately.
Has claiming to be addicted to sex become to new “automatic out” for people who get caight cheating with lots of men and women?
The Sex Addicts Anonymous website has a set of definitions surrounding what constitutes a true Sex Addict…..a few are:
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- Do you keep secrets about your sexual behavior from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
- Have your desires driven you to have sex in places or with people you would not normally choose?
- Do you need greater variety, increased frequency, or more extreme sexual activities to achieve the same level of excitement or relief?
- Do your relationships become distorted with sexual preoccupation?
- Do your sexual activities involve the threat of disease?
- Has your sexual behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?
Okay, so I’ll give you there certainly are some people who are legitimately addicted to sex.
In fact, a friend’s (former) Fiancée was addicted to the point where she was having unprotected sex up to five times a week with other – often multiple – partners….all without him knowing.
However, I really wonder when people like Tiger Woods’ multiple sexual partners comes to light, and he calls himself an addict.
I could be completely wrong, but my feeling is Woods has been spoiled and coddled most of his life. He’s constantly had people telling him how amazing he is, and he’s been pretty much able to do whatever he wants with no real restrictions, not even financial ones.
My opinion of many (not all, of course) of these “Celebrity Sex Addicts” is they’re just a bunch of spoiled little brats, doing whatever they want, with no true regard for anyone other than themselves.
And claiming they’re addicted and they’re behavior is beyond their control is an insult not only to the public, but more to people who are truly sex addicts.
What do you think? Has the term ‘Sex Addict’ become the new Get Out of Jail Free card?
I think most of these guys who say they’re sex addicts are full of shit. They just want to go out and get laid, and don’t want to have to explain they’re just fucking assholes.
I really don’t know much about sex addiction…but totally agree with you that with those celebrities, it’s just a freaking excuse for them tom-foolering around.
I agree with John COMPLETELY. Yes, I’m sure there are people who are legitimately addicted to sex, but I think sex addiction is much rarer than the media (and philandering celebrities) would have us believe.
Addiction nowadays is used to excuse behavior. Sex, stimulus in general it seems as if everyone needs an excuse to over indulge. I think people can become so indulgent that they think they are an addict but it just might be selfishness. When it comes to sex it might not be the act itself people are addicted to but feel like they are filling some emotional void in their life.
Not knowing Tiger Woods personally I cannot say if he has been spoiled or coddled. What I do know is men by nature have a different disposition when it comes to sex than ladies do and men in general don’t have a big problem with multiple partners. When you combine this with a man who is better looking than the average Joe and worth a BILLION dollars it’s easy to see how this story is gonna play out. Usually consequences keep most people in check. When you can mitigate this in any way shape or form your chances of misbehaving will multiply.
Yes privileged people live different lives. I don’t think these people are any different from the rest of us it’s just that their misadventures play out in People magazine. Which is sad. Most of us wouldn’t pass that amount of scrutiny so I tend not to throw stones.
Ok – this is a pet peeve of mine, so forgive me if I sound a bit harsh, but:
It is such a load of BS.
This thing that’s so popular now, the tendency from psychs to categorize everything as a disorder, is just giving people more and more excuses, to the point where there’ no personal responsibility anymore.
Sex addiction? Give me a break. You are a sentient being. You are not an animal. You don’t have to respond to stimulus, you can CHOOSE not to. Is it hard? I bet. Is it doable? No doubt.
same with a lot of other “syndromes”, and this is from someone who has been “depressed”, who has had “eating disorders”. It’s hard as hell, but you can pick yourself up and get it together, rather than choose to go the self-indulgent route and use it as your excuse for behaving like a loser, or endlessly whine about it.
More and more enabling. Technically there’s nothing wrong with having a ton of sex if you’re single is there? Other than how you feel about yourself/self esteem and maybe some religious/core beliefs, go for it. It’s called for many, college, or your 20s. But when you’re in a relationship, it’s just wrong no matter what the motivation. Even cheating in a shitty marriage isn’t right: get out of the marriage first. It becomes the reason the marriage breaks up and the relationship probably stunk before that.
It’s hard for me to believe Jesse James was a real sex addict. It’s called making the right choices. Everyone gets tempted somewhere along the way. You say NO I don’t want to ruin my life, my marriage and others’ lives (like children). Imagine, you think of OTHERS. Did Tiger ever think of his children while he banged all of those women? Or his mom? His dead father? It’s very, very selfish.
I was cheated on once (if there were more I never found out) and interestingly his Dad had had a mistress since he had been a teen and he was in his 30s. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. So Tiger, Jesse, David, don’t get disappointed or upset when your children do the same thing and sadly ruin their happy relationships with selfish decisions.
Prettttty sure my exbf is a sex addict. He could check off every thing on the list on the sex addicts site. He gets his self value in the number of woman he can get to sleep with him and uses hookup sites like “adult friend finder” and “nofacebook” (I don’t even want to know what else). And he cannot talk about anything but sex, and doesn’t get personal boundaries.
These people have no excuse and don’t need our sympathy. They need some effin counseling and to work on their issues.
As for celebrities, millions of people see them. Think of all the women who are interested in them. I think many of them just use sex addiction as an excuse.
I think in Hollywood, it’s the spin publicists put on it. Just as drug addicted celebs who go to rehab always suffer from “addiction to prescription pain medication.” I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but rehab for prescription meds sounds better than rehab for being a cocaine addict, right? I think the “sex addiction” thing started out as a publicity thing, but now it’s rubbing off on the rest of America. Everyone’s always looking for excuses. “It’s a disease, like alcoholism.” Sure it is…